A Little girl’s goodbye to her daddy

Goodbyes are harder to do when you have already said them.

My father has been in and out of my life since I can remember, and I accepted that a long time ago. I told myself that is was okay that he wasn't a father, and I would get to know him as a person. Parenthood is a job that can be hard to understand, and it is only for the strong. My father didn't understand that. But that did not make him a bad person… just a bad father.

I still love him as if he was coming home every night, and I have no clue where he usually laid his head. More things that I know about him, less I feel like I know about me. I watched my father do things that I will never forget, that I will never do, and some I have already done, but today I know I will never make another memory with him, good or bad. My father T.L.C; yes that's his initials, is dead, his skin is left without a soul. I had hoped (silly to hope) that one day he'd come back, and say sorry for missing so much, that we would play catch up, and live with some sort of peace, but that did not happen. He left without saying goodbye, hello, how are you, what's been going on, how has your life been? Instead he left the same way he lived… without me!

But this is my goodbye. I will not hope anymore! I will not wish you could be a part of the family! I will not protect you! I will not hate you! I will let all of my emotions go, and realize that my father was who he wanted to be, and that's enough to live with or live without.