Depressed... Sad... & Confused

I am sad, confused, and a little deflated.

I try to do the right thing. Be positive, and encourage myself to continue with my goals and dreams. But every time I turn around I am being SLAPPED in the face. How does the weak, the untalented, the evil, and the selfish grow, get rewarded, and even live a altogether better life.

I opened my second business recently. Something I really wanted to do for a long time. I took money that I should have used for my daughter's future, but being who I am... I took $4000.00 and counting to start a business, and shit is just thick. I have supported local businesses throughout the Richmond area, especially Black owned. And have any of them stop by a class. No! My own sister, who lives in My house, sleeps in a bed she didn't even work for, or even deserve, can't watch her niece. My daughter. Because she's to busy sleeping and fucking complaining. We're still covering bills that don't benefit us at all. Because we have too.

Where the FUCK is the break???

How did the stupid, childish, uncaring, and unreliable get in line first? Believe me, when I say I have been through the shit. I have lost a home, lost jobs, money, lost my father, lost my patience and still I keep pushing. I have not quit. Even when I can't see any gain, I still push forward. And for what? To see the small people who benefit nothing and no one win. WTF???? There is a silent storm burning within me. I try to keep her quite, but time is fading, and I am losing the battle to hush her. I can no longer watch people just say Fuck it, and still go far. That's shit ain't right. And I know "Life ain't Fair", believe I heard it enough, but Damn. Where is the line?

I am not pleased in the turn out of society. I am not impressed by the idiots who run the world. I am not surprised by people who just lose it.

I am...