Body Maddness

Lately I have noticed that I feel different. With my studio gone, I don't have many places to practice my yoga. Sure in my yard, or in my bedroom, but they all feel like home. When I practice I want to feel like I'm in peace; a space that keeps me clean, and untouched. But with my practice becoming limited I feel fat. I feel soft. So I did the worst thing I could do to myself, I weighed myself. Yes! Self inflected torture. And yes, you know it... I gained 3lbs. Now sure I know your thinking 3lbs, this chick is crazy, but 3lbs reminds me that I can become what I fear. Since I have started my yoga practice not only has my spirits changed, my body as changed too. I use to be the thick friend... a sneakers away from fat. But I have worked hard at being smaller, and more peaceful. But I know that 1lb can take me to a place where not only I have gained weight, but now hating myself. Not eating, or just plain being evil to me. Yes, being evil to my own self. Those 3lbs brought back everything I thought I'd gotten rid of. I thought I was free from being critical of me, I thought I was okay with myself, now I know... Still a work in progress should be hanging from my neck.